Trauma bonding explained: Let’s understand the unhealthy bond, signs and breaking the bond

If explained in simple terms, trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse. In such a condition, the person being abused starts to house positive feelings, such as sympathy or affection, for the perpetrator.

Trauma bonding can develop over days or months. Not everyone experiencing abuse is going to develop the unhealthy bond. Stockholm syndrome is one type of trauma bond. For instance, a person facing abuse starts to rationalise the actions of the perpetrator.

Feelings of attachment and dependence can contribute to a trauma bond. Some unhealthy relationships carry a cycle of abuse, then remorse. The perpetrator can promise to change after causing harm. This is likely to offer the abused person some sort of hope.

Signs of trauma bonding and breaking the bond

Trauma bonding can occur in different situations, including domestic abuse, child abuse, elder abuse, kidnapping or hostage-taking, human trafficking or exploitative employment. In such conditions, the victim is usually isolated from other people and their perspectives.

The main sign of trauma bonding is that the person experiencing abuse starts to justify or defend the abuse. They are likely to cover for the abusive person, distance themselves from people trying to help, and be reluctant to break the bond.

Breaking a trauma bond can take a long time, sometimes. But it is possible. In order to come out of the unhealthy relationship, focus on the present, pay attention to the evidence, practice positive self-talk, and take care of yourself.